Natupad ko ‘yong promise ko sa lola ko na magiging Iska ako through and through. Parang sinasabi niya sa lahat na “Iska ‘yong apo ko.” Kinder pa lang, sinasabi niya ‘yan. Tapos noong college, sinasabi niyang gusto niya ako maging Iska pa rin.But the saddest part of my life… namatay siya noong UPCAT ko. Hindi niya alam na pumasa ako. Kasi may Stage 3 breast cancer siya, and I had to watch over her all night long. She was screaming in agony, in pain, because the cancer had spread throughout her body. 5 AM ‘yong UPCAT test ko. Nagrereview pa ako noon; naaalala ko ‘yon kasi nirereview ko ‘yong logarithm, kasi ang bobo ko sa Math talaga.Nagtanong siya kung anong oras daw ako uuwi. Sabi ko, “1 PM, nandito na ako, 'nay.”Sabi niya, “ang tagal, ang tagal naman.” Sure enough, matagal nga, because she passed away at 10 AM.Pag-uwi ko, ang daming tao sa bahay, ta’s nakatingin lang silang lahat sa akin. Nag-snap sa akin: Nasaan si nanay? Nasaan si nanay? Walang sumagot sa akin, and then they were crying. Binagsakan ako ng langit at lupa. Pinaalis lang nila ako, pina-exam nila ako, because if she had complained with a lot of pain, I wouldn’t have gone. I wouldn’t have left. Hindi ako makakaalis ng bahay.

She raised me because my mom was a career woman. Nagtatrabaho talaga siya. My nanay was the one who raised me and honed me to be the person I am today. Everything I know, I owe it to her. I know how to cook — I owe it to her. I know how to be street smart — I owe it to her. My mom played a huge part din, pero sa pagiging tao, kung paano lumaban sa mundo — lola ko ‘yon.‘Yon ‘yong saddest part — parang regretful ako na hindi niya ako nakita na Iska. Pero feeling ko naman sawa na siya kasi nasa langit na siya ta’s Iska pa rin ako hanggang ngayon. Parang ang tagal mo naman umalis diyan, apo.

I had to mature ahead of everyone else. I was never a teen. I am the eldest daughter in an Asian household, hence the responsibility to build the foundations of the household. But if I could go back in time, I’d say that you should look out for yourself. Nakakaubos kasi when you look out for everybody — who looks out for you?Right now, my greatest struggle would be performing different roles. For example, ‘pag sa school, kailangan ko maging estudyante. Kapag rumaraket, kailangan ko maging trabahador. ‘Pag sa bahay, kailangan ko maging panganay. Kapag sa nanay ko, kailangan ko maging matatag. Sa kapatid ko, kailangan ko maging ate. Sa mga kaibigan ko, kailangan ko maging masaya.Right now, all my batchmates, all my friends, they’re living their lives, and I’m still here. Stuck. Do I enjoy my time left here in UP? Or do I just… get everything done? But, somehow, I’ve started to feel like I still have a space here. Sobrang na-aappreciate ko when someone talks to me, kahit hindi ko kakilala. I don’t know people’s faces right now. I don’t know their names, I don’t know how old they are… parang kapag may nag-hi sa akin, feeling ko hindi ako floating.

My biggest regret is… not pushing myself the hardest that I can go. Parang pinili kong mag-break off sa point na ‘yon. Specifically noong time na, noong 2022, may chance ako to graduate and still have my latin honors intact. Be the trophy daughter that my mom wanted me to be. Be the Iska that my lola envisioned me to be. Ganyan. Parang napagod talaga ako sa buhay… ‘yong speed ko ngayon, I’ve been running the same speed since I was in high school. Raket doon, raket dito, kung may gagawin akong requirements, mamaya na ‘yan. Kailangan kong kumita, kailangan ko ng pera, kailangan ko maghanap ng pera para may pangkain kami. Mga ganoong bagay. I could have set it aside first and gave myself more time acads-wise. Tapusin ko muna ‘to para hindi mag-prolong ang agony and everything else, but I didn’t. So sinisisi ko sarili ko, na parang hanggang ngayon, nandito pa ako.The most challenging part would be the expectations. Because you’re the cream of the crop, you should know how to do things — and not just do it, but do it well. They don’t see that every box that we tick is a soul leaving a person’s body. Parang gano’n. Mababait ‘yong mga profs sa Speech Comm. ‘Yong mahirap ay ‘yong sistema sa UP; parang nagpprioritize siya. For example, dahil ako, branded ako with all my INCs, I’m stripped of a lot of privileges.

My biggest dream is to have my own personal space. I grew up in a household where everything is common and everything is shared. I lived with my extended family — I have lived with them ever since. Wala akong kwartong sarili. Wala akong kama. So I have to spend the night awake, and sleep once someone gets up. Maayos naman ‘yong kwarto, but you know, having your own personal space where you can laugh, cry, breathe — wala akong gano’n. Gusto ko ring pa-grocery-hin ang nanay ko na hindi siya tumitingin sa resibo. My mom is a whole new level of kindness. She feeds everyone, she tends to everyone, she cares for everyone… she is very generous, but at her own expense.More than the bragging rights — the safe space UP provides to learn critically, to live your life freely, to mourn, to be happy, to feel emotions, to do things you thought you couldn’t… sobrang safe space ng UP. Fertilized lupa siya, at kailangan mo lang magtanim. Gusto mo maging bulaklak? Gusto mo maging cactus? Gusto mo maging kung ano-ano? You can be all that you want to be. UP provides that space.

I’ve lived a different kind of life. I am still living it. I’m also living a typical life, hindi siya madali and all, pero feeling ko lahat naman tayo ay may kanya-kanyang bagahe. Hearing my story would affect you in miniscule ways, pero siguro lahat ng mga estudyanteng katulad ko ay may bagahe na kailangang intindihin. Be kind to everyone kasi hindi mo alam ‘yong pinagdadaanan nila.

Danna (24) is a Speech Communication student from UP Diliman.

Noong nagkaroon ako ng anak… ‘yon siguro ‘yong pinakamasayang nangyari sa buhay ko. Buti na lang po napapakain ko sila kasi halos araw-araw ako dito sa UP; halos araw-araw ako pumapasok.‘Di lang ako pumapasok kapag may dialysis si Tatay. Siguro noong nag-dialysis si Tatay… ako po yung nag-asikaso ng lahat. Parang simula noong umpisa hanggang ngayon — ako pa rin po. Hindi po ako makahanap ng trabaho na araw-araw kasi nga, dahil nga po sa papa ko, ako ‘yong nag-aasikaso sa DSWD, city hall, PCSO, pati ‘yong pagbantay sa ospital. Tapos ‘yong mga anak ko, iniiwan ko rin para bantayan po ‘yong papa ko.

Maging matatag lang dapat. Pati ‘yong pamilya, kapag nandiyan ang pamilya, hindi ka naman panghihinaan ng loob. Kapag buo ‘yong pamilya, may masasandalan ka pa rin araw-araw kahit mahirap.Gusto ko sana ng buong pamilya para sa mga anak ko, pero nabubuo siguro kami sa ibang paraan. Sa pagmamahal, ganoon. Pero minsan kasi, parang hinahanap nila ‘yong asawa ko. Pero ‘yong panganay ko… madamdamin talaga siya. Nakita niya lahat, simula hanggang dulo. Sabi niya sa akin: “Ma, itigil mo na ‘yan. Itigil mo na. Nasasaktan ka na.” Doon lang ako nakinig — noong nalaman kong nahihirapan na rin ‘yong anak ko dahil tinitiis ko lang ‘yong mga paghihirap ko sa buhay. Kaya umalis na rin ‘yong asawa ko.

Para sa akin, pinakamahalaga ang pamilya. Hindi kami buo pero masaya naman kami, at mabubuti ‘yong mga anak ko. Nakakatuwa kapag umuuwi ako at nakikita kong nagkakaroon sila ng star sa mga gawain nila sa school. Minsan nauubos naman agad ang binebenta ko rito, kaya pinapauwi na rin ako nang maaga at nakikita ko na rin sila. Minsan, kagaya ngayon dahil maulan na ulit, mas matagal o may natitirang pagkain pa dito kaya hindi pa ako nakakauwi.Paborito nila ang Sunken Garden. Noong isang araw, naubos agad ang tinda ko kaya naglakad lang kami sa Sunken Garden. ‘Yon din ‘yong paborito kong lugar dito sa UP; mapayapa lang kasi.

Sabi ng anak ko, “Nay, paglaki ko, dito ako mag-aaral.” Ganyan ang epekto ng UP sa iyo — malawak at puno ng mga posibilidad, punong puno ng pangarap. Hindi ko sinabi sa mga anak ko na hindi ako nakatapos ng kolehiyo dahil nagkasakit si Tatay. Information Technology ang kurso ko noon. Nakakahiya nga lang… minsan, nakikita ko ang dati kong schoolmates na nagjojogging dito, habang nandito lang ako sa kanto, nagtitinda ng carioca at banana cue.

Si Ate Bien (36) ay isa sa mga manininda ng UP Diliman.

The popular notion for graduates of Literature in the university where I came from is that if you graduate, mahirap maghanap ng trabaho. So when I got a job as a broadcast monitor, I was so happy. And the first thing I did when I got my first paycheck was buy my mom a tablet, which she could buy for herself, but I just wanted to be able to give something to her.

My greatest struggle is communicating with the people closest to me. I tend to shut them off. Once I am absorbed into doing a task, a job, a play, a production—nawawala ako sa wisyo, and even my mother tells me… nagchachat lang siya minsan and she says, “buhay ka pa ba?” I tend to struggle to actually balance it all out. If I could go back in time, I’d be more honest with myself; I wouldn’t force things upon myself. I wouldn’t say, “Okay na ‘to, Jonas. This is happy.” I wouldn’t force that ideology on me and just let things come to me naturally.

The most difficult part of working here would be the budget. We operate in the realm of the theater. Balancing the needs, the wants, and of course the artistic goals of both the students and the teachers all rely on the reality of having a good budget. So us being in a public university and not in a private-run company poses its own challenges.I’m most grateful for the opportunity to meet different people every day. When you work in the theater, you really meet a lot of people, different attitudes, different styles, becoming an artist. But apart from knowing their different aesthetics, it’s knowing their struggles— knowing why they came to the theater, I very much enjoy that.So far, the most memorable moment I’ve had here in UP was when all my theater students and other instructors had a prod party on campus. That was very memorable, because everyone was just having fun, and the students were imitating the instructors. It was my first “professional theater work.” It opened my eyes to possibilities — to possibilities of combining different art forms into one show.

A lot of your instructors would say this, a lot of those who came to study would say this, but what I love most about UP is that the first time you step foot in UP, you already feel like you belong. This is it. Alam mong macucultivate ‘yong passion mo, whatever that passion may be.UP contributed to who I am today by showing me that I am more than just one thing. And that is through educating me in a more interdisciplinary approach, particularly in theater. It has provided me with not just knowledge, but pathways to pursue theater. That theater doesn’t have to be just about acting. Or writing. It can be about designing. Research. Talking about your advocacy. It can be so much more than what people see it to be. UP has allowed me to realize that I am more than what I seem to be.

Sir Jonas (24) is a Speech Communication instructor from UP Diliman.

“That's all for today's class, thank you and enjoy your long break!” With those words signaling the start of a two-week Holy Week and Reading Break, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was a well-deserved break – offering a chance to unwind, catch up on sleep, hang out with friends, and finally tackle the ever-growing backlog of assignments and readings. For many, myself included, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to relax and understand the topics in class before diving back into the academic whirlwind.The first few days were blissful. Waking up without the shrill sound of the alarm clock, lounging around in pajamas until noon, and indulging in guilt-free gaming playthroughs on YouTube or binge-watching the live action of Avatar the Last Airbender. But as the days melted away, so did the sense of relaxation. The impending exams began to cast its shadow over what was supposed to be a carefree break.In the midst of the break, as leisure time stretched out before me like an endless horizon, I found myself falling into the trap of doom-scrolling. Hours would slip away as I mindlessly scrolled through TikToks and IG Reels, only to be greeted by a wave of guilt when I realized how unproductive I had been. It seemed that even in moments of relaxation, the shadow of productivity guilt loomed large, reminding me of the tasks left undone and the exams awaiting when I get back.

Despite my best intentions to balance work and leisure, the guilt persisted. Even when I had already put in hours of studying, the choice to indulge in leisure activities felt like a betrayal – a waste of precious time that could have been better spent preparing for my classes. I found myself gravitating towards studying lecture videos and reading materials in advance during moments of leisure, unable to shake the feeling that any time not spent studying was a wasted opportunity.Reflecting on how technology had slowly taken up my leisure time, I couldn't help but wonder: “What did I do before I had a phone? Before I was on social media for the majority of my day?” Memories flooded back of childhood games played outside – of carefree hours spent in games of piko, patintero, and ice-ice-water – or the simple joy of coloring in a coloring book with my 8 pack Crayolas while waiting for my food at a restaurant to be served. In those moments, leisure was not tainted by the guilt of unproductivity; it was a well-deserved break during my weekends or when I was done with school.

Yet, as I navigated the break, it became clear that reclaiming that sense of guilt-free leisure would require a conscious effort to disconnect from the distractions of the digital world and reconnect with the simple joys of the past. It was a reminder that productivity should not come at the expense of our well-being, and that true relaxation lies not in the relentless pursuit of productivity, but in the ability to find joy in the present moment, free from the weight of guilt and expectation.Eventually, the two week break has come to an end. The first day back felt like stepping into a whirlwind. The once-familiar routine now seemed foreign, and the looming exams and problem sets weigh over me. But perhaps the most daunting realization was the knowledge that there would be no break from here on out. I know that there will be back-to-back exams. There will be presentations, papers, and projects every week. There would be no time to ease back into the rhythm of academia, no room for error or delay. Every week would be a relentless cycle of studying, cramming, and hoping for the best.

Although the road ahead may be daunting, there is solace in knowing that every exam finished is one step closer to the ultimate goal: graduation. And as the end of another semester comes, I'll look back on this time with a sense of pride – not necessarily because I got high grades as that is not always the case, but more so because I finished the sem and made it out alive.

Keratin… KERATIN PLUS?!Everything in social media is looking to get your attention. Watch this funny TikTok of a kid slipping! Look at this colorful pub for an event this weekend! Here is a loud sound for you to notice my video! Pay attention to my content. As a result, many of us – myself included – have become unwittingly enslaved to our phones. Unable to tear ourselves away from the constant stream of information and entertainment it provides. Whether we're studying, working, or simply trying to relax, our phones are never far from our grasp – always calling for our attention, ready to whisk us away into the digital world.My dependence on technology has worsened during the pandemic. With lockdowns and social distancing measures in place, my phone became not just a source of entertainment, but a way to connect to the outside world. My screen time has significantly increased and I find myself chronically online – which is another can of worms to unpack as there is a lot of comparing myself to others, impostor syndrome, self-esteem issues, and mental fatigue that comes with consuming a huge amount of content.

It’s been 2 years since we recovered from the pandemic yet I find myself still being attached to my phone. When I am not studying or working, I find myself going on my phone to check what’s new. When I’m standing in line to pay for my lunch, I am on my phone. When I wait for a stoplight to turn green while driving, I check my phone for new messages. I can’t even lay down, sleep, do chores, draw, or do any of my hobbies without listening to a podcast or playing some music in the background. I feel the need to always be multitasking and absorbing some kind of information so that I feel productive even while I try to relax and do something I enjoy.In my quest to stay connected and productive, I realized that I had lost something essential along the way: the ability to simply be present in the moment. When you're constantly on your phone and keeping yourself busy, you lose the art of seeing the world in all its minute detail. The group of friends at the table next to me doing last minute reviews for their exam, the chipping paint of my local sari-sari store, the smell of the shawarma rice in A2, and so much more.

However, with all of this being said, I still catch myself looking at my phone instead of my surroundings because I get bored and consuming online content gives me my dopamine. But is being bored really a bad thing? Historically, boredom has served as a catalyst for innovation and creativity across various communities. Whether in academic circles or artistic endeavors, moments of quiet reflection and introspection have often led to groundbreaking ideas and accomplishments. Just by walking between buildings in UPD, you pass by countless statues – from the iconic Oblation greeting you at the end of Univ Ave or the two Rizal statues in Palma Hall as you climb the AS steps, to the more practical installations like the Sundial behind Melchor Hall. Boredom played a part in giving these artists the avenue to wander and let their imagination run wild on how exactly to approach their works. Just by allowing their minds to wander, artists and scholars alike were able to tap into their creativity and reimagine the world around them.

While writing this article, I tried to allow myself to be bored and it has actually led me to think of a friend I hadn't spoken to since high school. She doesn’t update her social media often so I don’t see how she’s doing – unlike my other friends who regularly post on their IG Stories and FB. I reached out to her a few days ago and we scheduled lunch together next Tuesday! While I'm not suggesting that social media doesn't have its place, I can't help but wonder about the untapped potential that lies in embracing moments of boredom and allowing our minds to wander freely. In my case, because of my boredom, I got more time to recall the people in my life. It was not something I necessarily thought I needed – but that’s the beauty of it. It was not something I was actively looking for but rather something that came to me in the midst of being bored. And that’s creativity in itself, isn’t it?Today, as we navigate the pressures of social media and digital overstimulation, embracing these little moments of boredom can serve as a form of resistance from these online content — an act of reclaiming our time and attention. By disconnecting from our devices and reconnecting with the world around us, we empower ourselves to cultivate creativity, and a deeper sense of purpose in our academic and personal lives.

Ten years ago, I envisioned myself standing here in UP, but it's astonishing how quickly time has flown. I can hardly trace the steps that brought me here, and now, I find myself uncertain about what comes next. Is it possible that a life once full of direction, can veer off course?I know I'm not alone in this experience. College is indeed a unique battlefield where you confront none other than yourself. People are figuratively sprawling in and from various directions. In this journey, there's no one directly ahead or behind you. The paths are colorful and diverse; if not everyone is lost, some are chasing their tails, some are in a rush, some are taking their time, and then there are those like me, who suddenly find themselves halted midway. Maybe that's just how it is in my junior year — I can see myself wearing the Sablay, yet it still feels just out of reach.

When college comes to mind, it often feels like an endless stretch ahead. People frequently say that getting into UP is the easy part, but getting through it is the real challenge. Yet, without noticing, you find yourself nearing the finish line.I can vividly recall my first day at UP Diliman. It was quite different from the typical freshman experience because instead of attending an orientation or settling into dorms, my first day involved taking an exam. The pandemic threw a wrench into the timeline of everything, and it wasn't until the second semester of 2022 that we were allowed to conduct face-to-face classes.

My rite of passage — my first taste of being an Iska — was an unforgettable exam experience, one where I was almost late because I couldn't find the exam location. Picture this: a girl running down the street, clutching her phone with Google Maps open, desperately trying to navigate her way; when she asked the guard if she was headed to the right building, he pointed her in the opposite direction. She rushed up to the third floor, panting heavily. But once she got there, she was completely out of breath that she couldn't even remember which direction to go next. That’s me, I’m that girl.I know many of you can also recall your first day at UP, and before any of us realize it, much like the song that started playing in my head, this phase of life will at some point, come to an end.♪ "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention..." ♪As students, many of us entered the university with our directions and dreams distinctly mapped out before even setting foot in UP. We had organizations we wanted to join, electives we wanted to take, friend groups we wanted to form, kiosks whose food we couldn't wait to try, and everyday situations we romanticized in our minds.

It was during one particular journey that I truly learned a lesson. Exhausted from a long day, fatigue weighed heavily on my shoulders, and due to my blurry vision, I seemed to be on autopilot and instead of boarding the Ikot Jeep, I boarded the wrong jeep. I was also running low on battery so I couldn't book a ride-hailing app to go home.Forced to rely on instinct alone, each step felt uncertain, each turns a gamble. But I pressed on, hoping against hope that I was on the right path. As I walked, a surge of emotions washed over me—fear, frustration, and a tinge of desperation. Every familiar landmark I passed filled me with a glimmer of hope, a sign that I was inching closer to my destination. And with each step, I clung to that hope, willing myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, I was heading in the right direction.We can always hope, we can always imagine, but we can never truly know what lies ahead of us unless we take that leap. Of course, when you're on a journey towards something, you don't want to get lost; you try to follow the well-trodden paths of others. Had I not lost my way, I would never have discovered the delightful scent of the night air along University Avenue, permeated by the fragrance of blooming flowers.♪ "Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew…”♪

In the physical world, the expansive landscape of our university mirrors the vastness of our dreams. With each step we take, we explore new territories and encounter unforeseen obstacles. This phenomenon is evident throughout UP. Few paths have emerged because some people have chosen to tread them, even if they weren't the paved or conventional way. Take, for instance, the winding paths that snake through the arboretum or the maze-like corridors of Palma Hall. We don't just get lost searching for a good place to eat at A2, finding our way to the gazebos of the Institute of Biology, or locating the exit of the arboretum – we also get lost inside our heads sometimes.There are times when we decide to take a certain path, both literally and figuratively, only to realize later that it wasn't the right choice for us. Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, but the magic lies not in whether we swallow it or not. Rather, the magic is found in the next bite. It's at that moment that we realize what we're capable of, whether we can handle it or not.♪ "The record shows, I took the blows, and did it my way..." ♪

Venturing through the halls of higher learning, as an Iskolar ng Bayan, we should navigate the maze of academic life with courage and resilience — recognizing that our path is not fixed, but is molded by our actions and participation. With each step, we become intertwined with our journey and academic life, and indeed, "the landscape becomes a part of us, just as we are a part of it" (Ingold, 1993).Our journey through life is not merely a solitary march forward, but rather an intricate dance between the individual and the world they inhabit—a constant interplay of time, past, and present. This dynamic interaction forms the essence of our existence. Rather than perceiving the moments we've cried and failed as setbacks, we should embrace them as valuable lessons and learning opportunities. Think of getting lost today, as a chance to confidently find your way tomorrow. In Filipino, naligaw ka ngayon para hindi ka na maligaw bukas.

With all these realizations, I found the strength to lift my feet and take another step forward. Though I had stopped midway, I am now ready to resume my journey. I look forward to the day when I can proudly say:♪ "Yes, it was my way.” ♪

References:Ingold, T. (1993). The temporality of the landscape. World Archaeology, 25(2), 152-174.

“The friends you make in college will be your friends for life…” - Jessica ParkWhile this quote can be true, I found myself wandering around the campus trying to find people I could relate to. We all know that college is intimidating because we have to adjust to a new environment, and we are simply filled with a lot of uncertainties that we have to deal with independently. But, it is also an opportunity to explore and experience the fun side of college. Take my word when I say that this stage will be more bearable when you find the people who are right for you.

UP students are blockless for most of their stay in the university, so it can be quite hard to be a part of a circle or even make your own circle if you’re dispersed into different classes composed of different people. During my freshman year, I had this fear that I won’t ever find my “constants'' because of the blockless system and that it would hinder me from getting the full college experience. Don’t get me wrong–I did make friends in my classes but it felt like a 1 hour and 30 minute friendship that I had twice a week. I was worried that I wouldn’t find people who are not purposely binded to me because of requirements– you know, people whom I can talk about random and personal things with. It’s nice to have friends that give you a balance of academic life and social life. The good news is: it didn’t take long for me to meet these friends. So, allow me to speak from experience and share how I found and made lifelong friendships.

Starting a Friendship – You have to take initiative and make the first move! Live by the school spirit : “Matatapang, matatalino, walang takot kahit kanino!” Most of the time, people are just waiting to be approached because they themselves don’t have the courage to do so. They might just be as shy as you are, so strike up a conversation by greeting them and asking their name then try to keep it going by asking questions appropriate for the context. For example, in a GE class, you can ask: “Anong year mo na?”, “Naging prof mo na ba si…?”, “Ilang units ka this sem?” etc. These simple prompts can spark interest on both ends as you both get to share a common experience in exchanging stories. Make sure you look friendly so try to put on a positive aura by smiling.Taking initiative is not only limited to beginning a small talk or a conversation, there are multiple ways to start friendships! Another option is to join orgs and groups that resonate with your personality. UPD offers multiple orgs and groups of different fields of interests that you can apply to. This may narrow down your search for friends that you vibe with. The process to gain membership in itself is fun, and even as an applicant, you’ll surely have the chance to bond with co-applicants and members!

Deepening the Friendship - Communication is key so get to know them more! A friendship could be deepened in many ways too and it actually varies, but the core lays on communication. What worked for me is inviting them to mini hang-outs every now and then because this can help you spend quality time together and have chitchats (and this is where it gets deeper). Sometimes, spontaneous is better. If there was one thing I learned during my freshman year about making friends, it would be: don’t go home right away when classes are done. As said by BINI, 'wag muna tayong umuwi, dito muna, muna.'I used to go home immediately for no reason but eventually learned that I missed out on a lot of things my coursemates did like sponty food trips or simply going around UP. Staying for a few more minutes or hours and making use of your big vacants to bond with your friends will not only strengthen a friendship, it will allow you to enjoy the campus more and create lifetime memories you can look back on. There are a lot of hang-out-worthy spots in UPD like Area 2 or Gyud Food for food trips, Sunken Garden for picnic dates and chill conversations, academic oval for jogging/walking, and libraries for studying together—UP is definitely a place that can foster relationships! For your part, also reciprocate the energy that your friends give you. Constant engagement and interaction can boost a friendship’s growth but it will take time and effort to build a strong foundation.

You yourself play a big part in making friends—do the first move, make conversations, and create effort to sustain a strong friendship. The university is composed of diverse people so remember to always keep an open mind as you meet people along the way. Since it is a diverse set of people, I am 99.99% hopeful that you will find at least one to journey along with in college. Socializing with different people will help you get to know more about yourself and discover new things. There’s no perfect formula on how to make friends. So, I suggest you go out there, explore, and find out for yourself. Being friends with a person leads you to an array of people in their own circle—one connection opens up a network. There is no better time to experience the student-adulting life than in your college years and trust me, it’s better and way more enjoyable with company! At the end of the day, there’s nothing to lose when you say “hello!” with a smile.

When I was in Senior High School, I was always asked, “Anong orgs sasalihan mo?” And honestly, I had never joined organizations before then because they were never a big deal in my previous school. So when I asked, “Anong orgs meron?”, I was given a list of a lot of organizations, and it overwhelmed me with how many there were. Fast forward to my freshman year in college, now I’m the one asking, “Anong orgs sasalihan mo?”, or “Sa aling orgs ka kasali?”The feeling of being overwhelmed turned into motivation – being enthusiastic about all the possibilities and opportunities I can get from the various organizations the UP student body offers. At first, I was very strategic. I told myself that I was going to apply to a number of orgs that would essentially be good for a resume. However, I forgot to take into account that handling academics is already difficult enough, and adding organizations to the picture would mean more responsibilities, strict time management, and discipline. My strategy was no strategy anymore – it became “get through the semester and survive while having orgs.”

I was hanging out with my friend, Key Mendiola, when I learned that she is active in four organizations and applying to two more — talk about BS Org! I was genuinely shocked. As someone who can barely handle two orgs and academics, I can’t imagine how my friend was doing. We talked about this topic for quite a while. We learned that we are able to learn a lot of things from organizations that wouldn’t otherwise be taught in our courses, all the while meeting people with different skills and backgrounds.Continuing our conversation, I asked how she could balance everything, given all the work she was doing. She said, “I make sure to put myself first.” I agree with Key; I think that being honest with yourself, determining if you can do a task or not, and knowing if you’re okay or not would contribute to shifting the priority toward yourself. Reflecting on my conversation with Key, something I do that helps me — as weird as it may sound — is talking to myself out loud. I have conversations with myself as if I’m ranting to friends; I question myself, make realizations, and possibly create solutions if I have problems.

A second priority for Key would be her social circle, and I would agree. Aside from talking to myself, I also have my own group of friends whom I rely on when I need to vent my thoughts. Significantly, some of my closest friends are from the organizations I applied for. Knowing that I have a group of people, wherever they come from, helped me survive and continue to survive my college life.Key then said that her next priority would be academics and org work. Though these priorities seem strict and linear, Key explains that it can also be fluid. “For now, my friends and family won’t be first to me; first it should be acads, or at this moment, I can put my friends and family first,” Key says, “and you should be able to adapt to that well. Being isang BS Org girly ay pagiging organized.”What I personally do is list down all the work that I have and decide which should be prioritized, maybe depending on how close the deadline is or how time-consuming the workload would be. The list may not be perfect, and I might not even follow the set priorities, but it is great to note down everything that I need to do.

Although listing down my work is one thing, doing the work is another thing. Balancing the org life and academics is really hard. There were a lot of cases when I was in an organization event, multitasking on academicss that was due that day. There were also cases when I was in class listening to the professor and multitasking work for my organization. From what I’ve learned, sacrifices really have to be made, and your decision, choosing to do orgs or acads first, will put an effect on the other.You might ask, Is it really worth it? Are the sacrifices and stress worth it? For me, yes. Because I’m not only making sacrifices, I’m also making friends and learning new things. I’ve become part of a community I didn’t know I needed, and all the work I did was fulfilling in the end. I get to share my fulfillment with those people and they get to share theirs with me.

I look back on my Senior High School self who was shy, unconfident, and didn’t even know what an organization was, but now, I’m a completely different person. Well, I’m still a bit shy and unconfident, but I have learned so many things the past three years because of my participation in organizations. If you’ve been contemplating joining an organization, I say do it. It wouldn’t hurt to try. I mean, after all, I am writing this wonder under an org that I am a part of. Who knows what wonders you can do if you tried?

To be completely honest, I have been holding back writing this article, but I think it’s time to talk about time.Just like what Kim Chui said, “Hello, UP! Nandito na ako!”Entering college, for sure, you’ve heard the words, “college will be the best years of your life,” or “you will create the best memories, because these are going to be your prime years.” Bearing these words in mind, I feel ecstatic to walk on the Academic Oval, to glance at the iconic Oblation, or even the littlest of things, such as smiling as I pass through the corridors of Palma Hall. It’s funny that if you could name a list of people who love to romanticize being in college, my name for sure would be on top of it!I can still remember the days when the hues of the skies mattered as much as the humming of the birds, the ray of sunshine on my face, the fall of leaves, and the breath of fresh air. Back when I was in my freshman year, I was so excited to meet every student in the block. I was elated to turn in my first tasks and assignments. I was also that student who recited as much as she could just so the professors could remember and acknowledge her even from afar. I was the type of person who would initiate conversations and lead the whole barkada to a feast in Area 2. If I were to describe myself during my freshman year, I seemed like an eternal being that shined so bright and brought so much hope, light, and joy to everyone. I felt invincible.

But as my college years went by, I felt different and completely changed. How would you feel when you hear the words GWA, internships, part-time jobs, resumes, CVs, financial stability, University Scholar, year-standing, and the risk of being delayed? Because if you were to ask me, I’d feel confused as to why college, the supposed best years of my life, would lead me to be in such a hurry? Am I chasing time, or is time chasing me as I strive to accomplish and achieve so many goals before graduating? These were the questions that kept lingering in my mind for the past few months.For context, I am a second-year incoming third-year college student. As ironic as it sounds, I am currently experiencing a mid-college crisis. I am writing this article to challenge the notion that college is the prime year of our lives and that we should not be constantly pressured by it.

Writing this article made me recall the start of the second semester in my sophomore year. I was right in front of my laptop at 3 a.m. trying to figure out my game plan to check if I’m still on track with my units and if my GWA still qualifies me to be one of the honored scholars of the school year. While I was trying to compute and draft everything, I suddenly felt my heart sinking as I realized that if I push myself to graduate on time, I would have to take 21 units every single semester, excluding my DRP, NSTP, and PE subjects.For context, I am a transferee, so being delayed is expected, but I still hoped to graduate the same year as my batchmates in high school. Aside from that, I figured that if I wanted to go easy with my units and maybe take one semester off to study abroad, which is a college dream of mine, I’d be delayed for one and a half years! I would then be expected to graduate in 2027, making my overall college time period 6 to 7 years. This made me realize how idealistic it would be to pursue every single goal before graduating college. I had all of these plans in mind, while also taking into account my family’s financial capabilities, scholarship applications, and possible added organizations, internships, and part-time jobs to pad my resume. At this point, I felt like I was on the verge of breaking down as anxieties of the future started to haunt me. Will I ever be enough in this world full of chaos, competitiveness, and struggle? Why do I feel like time is so little compared to what I have imagined before?

So I started to search for answers. I observed, I listened, and I learned. Come to think of it, every student in the university has a different background. There are several factors that can affect the way a student lives, and these factors can significantly impact one’s life, creating disparities in opportunities. This usually leads to countless problems and great concern for the future, manifesting in what I may call a mid-college crisis. This period of uncertainty is overwhelming as students navigate through the pressures of academic expectations and personal aspirations while grappling with the external forces that shape one’s realities.

To understand what causes a mid-college crisis, I turned to psychological concepts.Did you know that our frontal lobes are not yet fully developed until the age of 25? Thus, we are under an emotional turmoil marked by a strong desire for change. Individuals our age experience a whole cycle of new experiences in at least four to five years of their lives. One of the famous studies of life development is Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Development. In this study, he mentioned the 5th Stage of Psychosocial Development of a person is Identity vs Role Confusion. This is a stage where we feel uncertain about aspects of our identity as we search for our sense of self.Remember when we were teenagers? We had this belief that our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are unique from everyone else's. In Psychology, we call this Personal Fable. This makes sense because when we were younger, we felt as if we were the center of the world, but now that we are transitioning from adolescence into adulthood, we lose this feeling, which explains why we suddenly feel so stuck. To support this, Arnett came up with the Theory of Emerging Adulthood or the feeling of being in-between. This is the time when we tend to consider ourselves too old to be adolescents, yet we feel like we are too young to be full-fledged adults. So, while waiting to grow and mature, we are currently in this idle time feeling helpless, stuck, and lost.

With these concepts in mind, the next time you walk around the Academic Oval, glance at the iconic Oblation or even pass through the corridors of Palma Hall, take a look at each university student first. Each one is a reminder that we are not alone, and even though we are different from each other, we are still experiencing the same sentiments about college and being in college. The concept of mid-college crisis is totally normal, and it could manifest in so many different ways that even I could not name them all.College is not yet the end; rather, it is your starting point. It is a place for you to learn and flourish. There is more that life has to offer. For now, being in college is the best time to experiment and find your purpose. It could be through extra-curricular activities, academics, voluntary work, and even internships. You do not have to be pressured to be good with everything because we are all just starting life.

The concept that college is the prime years of a person's life is a misconception. Yes, college can be a time for memorable experiences, but it is filled with pressures and uncertainties that can lead to confusion—a mid-college crisis. So, let us embrace college as a stepping stone, not the pinnacle, and recognize that the journey to our prime years is ongoing and unique for each individual.

In a quiet hush of dawn, a mysterious sound produced by hands and gardening tools, plows the land of path leading to the hall of honor and excellence — a land that lies with growth, resilience, hope, and success. The traditional planting season of the sunflowers at the University of the Philippines Diliman has started — the sea of yellow petals are coming!Ever wondered about what happens before the University Avenue is filled with sunflowers? I made it my task to find out!

About two months before graduation, approximately 30,000 to 35,000 seeds are planted along the aisle of University Avenue. Before planting the seeds, the soil has to be well-prepared. The planting is handled and financed by the UP Diliman Campus Maintenance Office (UPD CMO). I interviewed Kuya Lorenz Bayani, who has been working at UPD CMO since 2013, about the planting of the sunflowers. Kuya Lorenz details that the kind of plant planted along the University Avenue is certified sunflowers, which are of high quality and are able to endure both rain and sunshine. It is fertilized with urea, which gives nitrogen to the plants, to make them greener and lush.For a UP Student like me, these sunflowers are not just flowers but part of our identity as the collective Iskolar ng Bayan — a symbol of deep meanings, experiences, and cultures.

We are the sunflowers, groomed to bloom in our own vibrant ways. When I first entered UP, I felt tiny as a seed, small, and humble. But as time passed, I learned that there is a reason why UP chose me, why this tiny seed needs to be planted here. I hold an essence of potential, stubbornness, and purpose; we must believe in the university's willingness to foster and nurture us. The eager fingers gradually arose from the soil, the beginning of our endeavors that were fueled by the continuous efforts, support, and care of our professors, friends, families, and even the people within the community.We know the cycle, traditions, and the system. We join organizations, events, and activities, and learn how to manage time. Our roots dig deeper and become stronger as we learn the culture of UP Diliman. These foundations provide stability as we grow taller, where every inch of growth is a measurement and a testament to our eagerness in fulfilling our dreams.

But the tale of the sunflowers would not be complete without the adversities. Given that June and July are wet months, torrential rains and harsh winds are tests. As I interviewed Kuya Lorenz, he stated:“Mahalaga itong pagtatanim kasi para ito sa mga estudyante nating magtatapos, kaya kailangan alagaan. Kahit bumagyo man, tinatayo pa namin ‘yan ‘pag nagtutumbahan.”In college life, we cannot escape challenges, difficulties, and setbacks. Walking down the path of our dreams is often fraught with hurdles. We need someone to lean on, and someone who can lift us back up when we bend down; it is an essential part of the growth process. Overcoming these difficulties builds strength with motivation, character, and identity of being an Isko which prepares us for a vibrant bloom.

Sunflowers are known for their heliotropic behavior, in which they turn and grow towards the light. This characteristic symbolizes how we move towards our goals and ambitions. And finally, the long wait is over, from budding to full bloom – graduation season.

The Sunflower Blooms - a celebration of all the hard work, struggles, and achievements gained through trials and triumphs. Each plant, while similar in structure, is unique in its own way. Just like our graduating Iskolars ng Bayan, similar in the wearing of Sablay but differ in experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives. While each of them stands tall in their uniqueness, the graduates and sunflowers share similarities, collectively creating harmony from University Avenue to the Amphitheater, illuminating the whole community of UP Diliman.The sunflowers, once bloomed, are known for producing an abundance of seeds. These seeds are sort of our legacies we leave for future generations and is ultimately the cycle of giving back to the community. Success is not a static point or a personal achievement, but rather a dynamic and continuous journey of nurturing and blooming, much like the UP’s mission of shaping minds that shape the nation.

Pagpupugay sa mga magsisipagtapos, nawa’y ang mirasol na bulaklak ay maging isang paalala sa mga karanasan at paglalakbay sa unibersidad. Lagi’t lagi para sa Bayan!

References:Office, D. I. (2022, January 18). Yes, sunflowers can bloom in the rain. UP Diliman Information Office. https://upd.edu.ph/yes-sunflowers-can-bloom-in-the-rain/

Bakit ang daming bading sa UP?As queer individuals living in a society heavily influenced by conservative religious beliefs, we’re made to feel like an outsider in spaces that we’re supposed to be familiar with. We’re made to feel uncomfortable. Society may pressure us to believe that being ourselves is not okay and that it is unacceptable to do so. Unfortunately, many of us are compelled to live inside the closet to protect ourselves from discrimination and hostility — even in the comforts of our very own “home”.

Growing up in a Christian household, I was taught from a very young age about the traditional gender roles and expectations I needed to conform to. What was considered acceptable, including views on homosexuality, was framed as an issue of morality. However, early on, I sensed that I was different. It felt as though something within me was wrong, yet I couldn't articulate it at the time as it was against the teachings of our church. One thing I was sure of was that I couldn’t disclose my true feelings to anyone, especially to my family, knowing the consequences I would face if I did otherwise.Just as I thought life would be better outside our house, it wasn't any better in my schools. In my first year of high school, I was forced to stay outside the classroom because of my hair. They messed my hair up, giving me what they called “uka” for not complying with their policy that boys must have short hair. I never understood why such a policy existed—what does my hair have to do with studying? Discriminatory school policies and practices, from restrictive dress codes to gender-segregated facilities, create another environment that imposes limitations on our actions and expressions. As queer individuals, they limit us from expressing our identities authentically. We are forced to feel that there is no place for us.All my life, I lived in an environment where people like me were deemed to be sinners or afflicted with disorders. Faced with pressure and social stigma, I lived in fear. I was left with no option but to deny my true identity. Pretending to be someone I was not seemed safer than embracing who I truly was. All I’ve known is just to hide it away.

In senior high school, I dreamed of getting into UP, just like any other student. With over 100,000 applicants the year I applied, it's clear how highly sought-after UP is, being the most prestigious educational institution in the country. While that might be one of my reasons, my main reason is that there are no uniforms or dress codes — the mere fact that everyone can wear literally anything. It might seem like a shallow reason to some, but for a person who never got a taste of freedom, it is everything! The thought of finally expressing myself without fear — of breaking free from the restrictions that have always held me back — was nothing short of exhilarating.UP Diliman was an entirely new world. It’s an environment I had never experienced before. It feels new, yet not so new. The moment I set foot on campus, I felt like I belonged. I just fit right in! While I knew that transitioning to college would be complex and challenging, the freedom to be whoever you want to be made a huge difference and definitely made everything more bearable.

As I immersed myself in campus life at UP Diliman, I quickly realized it was more than just an academic institution—it was a place of acceptance and inclusivity, especially for the LGBTQIA+ community. With policies promoting diversity & inclusion, respecting students' lived names and pronouns, pride celebrations, and gender-neutral restrooms, the university proved to be a safe space that respects self-identity and self-expression.It was a breath of fresh air. Seeing liberated people, just living in the moment and experiencing life. I am fortunate to be one of them, liberated. Here, I could express myself freely, without fear of discrimination. Being who you are and wearing whatever makes you feel good and comfortable is your choice: no dress codes, prescribed haircuts, or bans on tattoos and piercings. No one was going to judge you. No one cared — in a good way.

I'll never forget the first time I entered my college building, wearing clothes considered “feminine” with a full face of makeup, feeling a bit anxious. However, instead of the stares or negativity that I anticipated, I was greeted with a smile and compliment from Ate Nelia, our security personnel. To be acknowledged without judgment was nothing short of touching — a departure from the usual eyebrow raise and blatant hate in peoples’ eyes when they see someone different. It’s way more enjoyable to study when you can express who you truly are without the constant thinking of others' criticisms. Everyone's welcome, no questions asked.

At last, I found my home. A safe space for everyone, no matter who you are. This journey eventually led me to find my community. The people who weren't bound by blood but were family to me in every sense. The people with whom I share my good, bad, and ugly, and who still love me just the same. The people who I no longer need to pretend and hide from when I am around them — my chosen family.I experienced a profound sense of belonging. I had the support I needed to embrace my identity. Support that allowed me to flourish and become more confident in my own skin. It was a liberating feeling, as I no longer felt the weight of conforming to heteronormative norms and societal expectations. For the first time, I felt at home. I felt safe. I felt seen for who I truly am.

Although my situation at home remains unchanged since my parents are still unaware of my sexual orientation and gender identity, I’ve adapted to live a dual life as openly queer in UP – a “proper” boy who conforms to traditional heteronormative rules when at home. For so long, I’ve hidden my true self from the world. Every day at UP feels like an opportunity to be myself in its true essence, to reclaim my identity, and to get to know myself even better. I've come to realize that living with personal freedom, where no one dictates your actions or behaviors, you get the opportunity to define who you are. You must make sense of yourself, which is the most beautiful thing. And I owe It to myself! To have my moment, live, and experience things during my time at UP, no matter how brief it may be.

Now that I prepare to leave, as graduation is fast approaching — or as the gays put it, I’m about to sashay away — I reflect on how my perspective of myself has undergone a significant shift. It serves as a reminder that true freedom comes from being true to yourself, no matter who you are. UP Diliman has significantly shaped who I am today, and I'll always be grateful for that. With confidence, I say that I have found my authentic self. And for me, that alone is the ultimate success no one can ever take away from me.

As I write this, I'm mindful that this experience isn't just about me; it's something many others can relate to. I’ve thought of all the queer individuals who might be going through something similar, struggling to find their safe spaces — a place just like home. My message is one of hope: things do get better. It might take time, but eventually, you'll find your safe space and chosen family — the people who accept you for exactly who you are, no matter who you love. That's the beauty of the queer community; we always have each others’ backs. I see you. I understand it might be scary at first, but you have to go out there and experience things. You deserve to live a life full of color without fear, standing loud and proud!I love you, Bading.Happy Pride Month!

The billowing fabrics resembling the Sablay float gracefully atop one of the plain grasslands of UP Diliman’s University Avenue, metamorphosing as the winds travel to and fro, leaves hueing from oat to green, clouds traversing left to right, and the sun poignantly shining from bottom to top. Inspired by the sensibilities etched to UP are the three identifiable colors maroon, forest green, and gold. In composer Nicanor Abelardo’s own words, “Luntian at pula, sagisag magpakailanman; ating pagdiwang, bulwagan ng dangal; humayo’t itanghal, giting at tapang.” For Juiceletter’s next issue, Sabay Sasablay attempts to travel honestly through the experiences of the UPD student life and aims to examine the transforming meaning and value of the Sablay in today’s times.The Sablay is an intricately woven and masterfully designed loose garment used as an academic costume for formal engagements at the University of the Philippines, designed by “The Father of the Sablay” Abraham Sakili. It is worn on the shoulder to honor and give value and respect. In the university’s own words: "The Sablay symbolizes our nationalism and the importance we put upon our indigenous culture, which are among the values learned from the University" (Office of the University Registrar, n.d.).In these times of constant flux and change, how can we reframe and reimagine the meaning and value of the Sablay while honoring its historical roots and tradition? Drawing upon the perspectives of four members of the UP community—a prospective freshie, a soon-to-graduate student, an esteemed alumna, and a respected professor—we come to realize the multidimensional symbol of the Sablay that remains consistently relevant, adaptable, and forever ingrained in our identity.

The billowing fabrics resembling the Sablay float gracefully atop one of the plain grasslands of UP Diliman’s University Avenue, metamorphosing as the winds travel to and fro, leaves hueing from oat to green, clouds traversing left to right, and the sun poignantly shining from bottom to top. Inspired by the sensibilities etched to UP are the three identifiable colors maroon, forest green, and gold. In composer Nicanor Abelardo’s own words, “Luntian at pula, sagisag magpakailanman; ating pagdiwang, bulwagan ng dangal; humayo’t itanghal, giting at tapang.” For Juiceletter’s next issue, Sabay Sasablay attempts to travel honestly through the experiences of the UPD student life and aims to examine the transforming meaning and value of the Sablay in today’s times.The Sablay is an intricately woven and masterfully designed loose garment used as an academic costume for formal engagements at the University of the Philippines, designed by “The Father of the Sablay” Abraham Sakili. It is worn on the shoulder to honor and give value and respect. In the university’s own words: "The Sablay symbolizes our nationalism and the importance we put upon our indigenous culture, which are among the values learned from the University" (Office of the University Registrar, n.d.).In these times of constant flux and change, how can we reframe and reimagine the meaning and value of the Sablay while honoring its historical roots and tradition? Drawing upon the perspectives of four members of the UP community—a prospective freshie, a soon-to-graduate student, an esteemed alumna, and a respected professor—we come to realize the multidimensional symbol of the Sablay that remains consistently relevant, adaptable, and forever ingrained in our identity.

When I was what the lingo calls a UP-cutie passer, my friend and I would visit the campus together to familiarize ourselves with the jeepney routes and buildings around UP. On one particular visit, after having our medical certificates approved, we headed to the UPBeat physical store nearby to browse through some lanyards. We both had a liking for the Sablay-designed lanyard, but we thought that we were not deserving of it, feeling we were not worthy until we earned ourselves a University Scholar award. Then, our eyes darted over the Sablay and the chatter of dreams began to linger. At the time, we did not know what it meant, but we knew it was a big thing, and we wanted to make our parents proud with the fabric worn over our shoulders, basking in the glory of success on our future graduation day. We went home afterward, debriefing through text, both feeling excited for a new semester to begin.To many, this marked the start of a dream, but as we journey mid-way to getting the Sablay, one must go through these moments of sablay (failure). The emergence of social media has catapulted a community of grievances and struggles both personal and systemic experienced by the everyday Iskolar on Reddit’s r/peyups and Facebook freedom walls, with memes as a coping mechanism, to name a few. Being underloaded, experiencing delays, deciding to shift courses, grappling with impostor syndrome, having a difficult time juggling responsibilities, and struggling with academics are some shared struggles students have expressed online.

When my first semester began, I already encountered a handful of growing pains. It was the era of easing back to the new normal where onsite classes were conducted minimally and only to a select few courses. I recall a moment when my teacher called me for recitation, but my attention had already drifted away, leaving me to come up with an answer. He scolded me for not listening and lectured me and the class afterwards. I tried to do better in the following sessions, but that moment left a lasting impression on him and, unfortunately, my grade. It was our second meeting.Currently in my sophomore year, I am suspended on my desk, writing as I grieve and grapple through the weight of my backlogs, the nearing finals season, film productions, and org responsibilities. All clashing with one another, with no rest to spare. I feel the constant pressure to excel, to generate the best ideas, to execute them with exacting precision, and to make myself proud of thinking that I have everything under control. My meals have resorted to pancit canton and fish balls, my sleep schedule has suffered, and I have constantly felt fatigued and burnt out.Taking the task to write and research about the Sablay, I find myself connecting with some of the people around me, gathering answers that are real, honest, and vulnerable. To those stuck in the middle like me, perhaps the Sablay can bring us closer and more grounded to what we’re striving for.

Among the friends I've formed a bond with is Paul Castillo, who is currently working on his thesis. Upon asking him what the Sablay meant for him, he requested some time for reflection. Bringing him back to a difficult time of transition from senior high school to college during the pandemic, where adjusting to the self-learning style in UP was difficult on top of being an introvert who struggled to connect with friends online. Constant self-doubt creeps up on him as he always catches himself finding it difficult to digest dense readings. Stepping into his senior year was also a tragic start as he almost got delayed because of CRS. Luckily, they allowed him to take extra units this graduating semester; otherwise, he would have taken a step back from graduating. And to the haunting feeling of loss, he told me, “As a senior, may persistent feeling ako na dapat sinusulit ko na yung oras na natitira sa ‘kin, kasi two years ‘yong nawala sa amin. Hanggang ngayon, feel ko pa rin na napagkaitan kami ng chance to experience the growth that comes with going through college nang hindi online.”After a moment of recall and reflection, he returns to me with a refreshing perspective, by associating two meanings of the Sablay: first is that things will work out—given how the anxiety crept up on him as a pandemic freshie—and second, that it symbolizes his personal growth within his most crucial four years in the university. This growth he states comes from all aspects of his life, “be it academically, in terms of work ethic, in terms of morals and principles, and how I look at life in general. It represents all these experiences that have created the current version of myself na dadalhin ko moving forward sa real world.”

A relative of mine, Danielle Marie Dela Cruz, recently graduated last July 2023 for her second degree in BS Interior Design as Cum Laude. Her outlook on the Sablay is forward, yet meaningfully considered. However, with simplicity also comes a certain degree of deep thinking, experience, and introspection. Like many Iskolars, she struggled to get GE subjects, despite her priority status. “I had to practically beg para lang ‘di ako ma-underload, and I had blockmates na 4th year [standing] na di pa rin complete GEs nila, so nadelay [sila] dahil sa underload.” This also caused her to take odd GEs that were not related to her course as a compromise. On top of the enlistment struggle, she also had a difficult time coping with online classes at the start of the pandemic “because as a design student, wala ako[ng] materials sa province, and [I] had to be resourceful.”Like Paul, she also attributes two significant meanings to the Sablay: first is her determination and dedication to achieve a personal educational goal, and second is her paying homage and appreciation for her parents’ support and sacrifices.

Having had the privilege of interviewing Professor Elio Garcia of the University of the Philippines, teaching in media in film classes, he challenges our ways of viewing and seeing the Sablay. He comes from two vantage points: an outsider and an insider. The former, as he did not get the chance to study in the university—however, he holds great honor and regard to its students; the latter, as an insider, as he is currently teaching in the university.Like many others, the Sablay to him is a marker of intellectual achievement from an education that is difficult to access. However, he argues: “Hindi tumitigil doon ang perception ko, kasi part ng pagkakaroon ng Sablay… Part of that intellectual position can easily slide to elitism depending on context, if we are not careful about it.”The elitism he talks about pertains to how one's intelligence can be wielded: either as a tool for leadership and mobilization, or exploited to detrimental ends. “Para sa akin naman, ang ultimate manifestation ng wisdom talaga ay kung paano mas gumagaan ang buhay ng isang indibidwal at [ng] mga tao na nasa paligid niya.” He also underscores the significance of the element of dangal (honor) in this context, stating, “Ang tao ay pinaparangalan ng Sablay, pero ang tao talaga ay nagbibigay-dangal sa Sablay—to honor that obligation.”

Honor is not the only important aspect of carrying the wisdom and value of the Sablay. “Ang mahalaga sa akin ay sana ay patuloy kayong magsumikap na maging mabuting tao and patuloy na magbigay sa komunidad… generosity is very powerful, because it has the power to move communities.“He ends by giving a hopeful wish to the scholars of the university saying, “Sana mayroong sense of freedom na intrinsic na itong buong pag-aaral ko sa UP, itong investment sa akin ng gobyerno at responsibilidad na nakaataw sa akin ay isang proseso ng paglaya at pagpapalaya. Kapag malaya na tayo, kailangan lamang natin palayain ang iba.”

As I reflect on these perspectives, I come to question whether this chase for time to excel and succeed is even necessary, at the cost of having our personal well-being compromised. The Sablay teaches us many things of wisdom, honor, and excellence. But perhaps what it does not show us, but the community can teach us, is the need to reflect on these struggles—to know you are not alone. Our mission of lifelong learning for a better tomorrow does not end in our four-year stay. The Sablay is carried with us forever; in our own time, this meaning can be realized. For now, let us reflect and act on the wisdom of Professor Elio Garcia: “When we see the Oblation basking in the sun, the nativeness of the human body… I see the sort of authenticity of the human person that does not only nourish his mind, but also his entire human being.”

As the nation’s socio-political climate continues to evolve, so must we strengthen our identity as members of the community, with continued diligence and perseverance to carry and put into practice the values of the university, beyond the learning land we step on. With four lived and shared stories, the mission to define the meaning of the Sablay is a continued, never-ending process, always taking a step further to realizing a deeper, greater wisdom, as we bring our service and purpose for a better tomorrow.

References:Office of the University Registrar. “Academic Costume.” Office of the University Registrar, our.upd.edu.ph/acad.php. Accessed 8 May 2024.University of the Philippines. “Up Naming Mahal.” YouTube, 6 Mar. 2020, youtu.be/ok4Jeap3dr8?si=p3dSDoELOaNLAqB4.

The University of the Philippines Diliman holds a common ground for Iskos and Iskas to meet at a certain point where they intersect–a place where one feels strongly linked to another regardless of differences. A shared and mutual kind of understanding between a fellow Iskolar ng Bayan despite being the extreme opposites.

Two semesters ago, Juiceletter featured the overarching features of UPD’s culture from talks about personal stories in the “People of UPD” to the iconic “Sabay Sasablay” which highlights the well-known graduation tradition of the university.This time around, the issue will narrow down its exploration to one of the core essence of what truly makes UPD an all-embracing community : the unique and diverse individuals who come together to collectively contribute to the one of a kind Isko culture.So to speak, WHAT is an Iskolar ng Bayan? Basing off technicalities, one is labeled as such when they are a UP student, acknowledged because of scholastic’s preeminence (Padua, 2023) having passed the UPCA/T and continuously striving in UP.Hence, it is an esteemed connotation brought with pride and honor, inside and outside campus. But beyond being tied with the university as a bona fide student, an Iskolar ng Bayan can transcend its technical definition because it is more than just that.

Asking some of my fellow Iskos the same question, they’ve had their own versions to say. Rather than defining what the label is, they instead described the notable qualities of one. Some mentioned how an Isko is someone who….…persists not only through the hardships that they face as they continue to persevere in finding the silver lining in their current positionality.
…have upright and strong values and take it with them wherever they go because being an Isko has already become a part of their character.
…is selfless because they are community-involved in many possible ways.In all their answers, a distinct theme stood out and that is how the title “Iskolar ng Bayan” portrays high complexity and is heavily subjective as it is strongly influenced and shaped by personal encounters that come in a variety of ways.Every Iskolar ng Bayan has their respective colleges as their first home stepping foot on campus. This is their place of adjustment, where they meet their first friends, where they learn the ropes, and where they learn a culture, getting to be part of a group.It is a fact that each college has these unparalleled characteristics that constitute their profile. This college-specific culture introduces them to an array of other sub-cultures from other groups like organizations, friend groups, batches, and other institutions that they also end up acquiring.

Now, their identities become a mix of numerous worlds.The process of diversification is a common experience among students which then becomes a shared experience–a focal point of relatable conversations to take place. Diverse people with different stories coming from diverse cultures just goes to show that the D in UPD stands for diversity.Juiceletter introduces this semester’s issue entitled “Maroon Stories” where we acknowledge stories from diverse cultures yet still formed as one.

As we traverse through different colleges and groups to highlight campus culture in the succeeding articles, Juiceletter aims to remind you of UP’s identity being a diversified, collective experience of all Iskos.So to answer, what makes the Isko way of life work?It is the kindred reflection of sharing unique moments with a fellow—unique moments that wholeheartedly recognize the vibrance of contrasting perspectives.Whether it be a narration of their culture’s quirks and kinks or exclusive, unheard of stories, the team hopes that these resonate with your journey while you wander across as a student of UPD.

Special thanks to Teddy Dabao, Mix Claron, Seven Barlaan, Key Mendiola, Val Co, Karol Ramos, and Fonz Cordero for taking part in our shoot!

Reference:Padua, D. (2023, April 16). Iskolar ng bayan, quo vadis? – ZigZag Weekly. https://www.zigzagweekly.net/opinion/iskolar-ng-bayan-quo-vadis/

Back in eleventh grade, I was tasked to create a career plan, which I recently dug up for this article and looking at it, I couldn’t help but laugh because none of those plans match where I am right now.Bachelor of Arts in History was never part of my plan, but fate led me here when I was accepted through the Degree Program with Available Slots (DPWAS) last 2023. By then, I was already content and prepared to study History for the next four years of my life.However, during a class discussion in one of my major subjects, I suddenly had an existential crisis. I felt disconnected from the concepts being discussed. The version of myself from high school—who was very participative in class discussions and actively helped peers who were struggling—is far from the guy who now sits quietly at the back of the classroom, trying hard to fit in every day.

These questions flashed into my mind: “hindi ata talaga para sa akin yung program na ito,” “hindi ko na ata ito kayang mahalin,” “I don’t think I can ‘fake it till you make it’ anymore.”I was planning to shift to Political Science, but after further research, I found a similar program where I felt I could grow and learn more as a person in serving the nation. This is when I discovered the Bachelor of Public Administration—a program I didn’t even know existed before college—listed none on my career plan in SHS. Eventually, I successfully shifted.After shifting, I was faced with the dilemma of getting delayed. At first, I was in denial and told myself that I would take full units for the next three semesters to graduate on time.

I won, but at what cost?In retrospect, I am glad that I can now sincerely participate in class discussions, more so during recitations. I feel more motivated to thoroughly read and digest assigned reading materials, and relate them to our classes. I can confidently say that I am now in a better, happier state, doing what I truly love and passionate about.College is full of surprises—you might question everything and explore other options to challenge yourself. My doubts pushed me to seek for more, testing my rigid mindset. This journey made me realize that it’s fine to take reroutes as we navigate our college life because after all, we are the captains of our own ship.To my fellow shiftees and those who are planning to do so, tandaan natin na sisibol din ang mga mirasol para sa atin. Let’s embrace the journey ahead because every redirection leads to where we are meant to be.

I studied in a catholic school all throughout my life, and coming into the University of the Philippines Diliman, a university that doesn’t impose on its students to wear uniforms, I was so excited to know that I could just show up to class in whatever I wanted.

Now that I'm actually on campus, what I didn’t expect was that there would be so much diversity in how students present themselves—specifically through their fashion choices.As somebody who wants to radiate their confidence through their clothes and makeup, I like to prepare my outfits the night before. It makes getting ready in the morning a lot easier too as I’ve definitely been guilty one too many times of waking up much later than I anticipated.

Before I choose the outfit, I even visualize what events can happen the following day:What classes do I have? Is it only majors so the only people that’ll see me are my coursemates? Wait, no, I have GEs and Electives–so more people I don’t usually get to see. Might cross paths with someone cute, you never know. Teka, mag-tambay ata ako sa org ko then meet-up kami ng friends ko after. Siguro dapat sarapan ko pa onti? We might go somewhere nice. But also, baka tanungin niya ako bukas if gusto ko mag-lunch kasama siya? Yeah, no, now I definitely need to put on something real cute. Eh, maybe I should just wear my comfortable clothes but still keep it chic—my feet still hurt from those boots I wore. The other outfit option looks nicer with my accessories, though.Then I look at the time: I have literally spent 45 minutes arguing with myself over this.But that’s just me.Kind of insane but maybe, somebody else out there gets an existential fashion crisis for an 8:30 to 4:00 pm class schedule like me.While wearing the outfit that took way too long for me to decide on, I make my way to A2 to get a quick snack after class. I take a few glances at the passersby and I can’t help but notice the amount of style variety in us—I even get a few ideas for my outfit tomorrow too.Again, maybe that’s just the nosy in me talking but it led me to wonder:What are the distinctions in the students’ personal fashion choices? How do their considerations differ from each other? Could there even be a distinct style that can be seen in the colleges?And so, I asked some of my friends and our models for the shoot about their thoughts.

On college fashion…It can definitely be argued that while not all colleges have a distinct type of style present….“Whenever I go to CAL or CSSP… nakikita mo talaga na everyone is very diverse and may sari-sarili silang styles… it’s genderless. Walang standard on what your gender should be and free naman. It’s very sarap… sa feeling din. Ang sarap sa feeling na you get to express yourself to the 100 and 1 percent.” Ford, from the College of Arts and Letters, expresses.Coming from the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy wherein people are taking their pre-laws, Mads feels as if there’s a need to dress in a smart casual manner—but she doesn’t want that for herself. Choosing her personal style over what she perceives as the norm is important for her.

A friend of mine from the College of Fine Arts labels students from there as “very fashion ready” and “almost everyday naka-dress to impress.”Dressing up in sustainable ukay-ukay pieces, adding a sense of individuality through various anik-anik attached to their bags, maximalism is what one can describe it as. For our CFA model, Chevy, you can even tell what their program is: some dress in more free-flowing clothes for sculpting and painting, while some dress more eye-catchingly by layering textures, mixing patterns, and wearing graphic prints.As a Studio Arts student, she expresses that she doesn’t stick to just one style.“Iba-iba kasi talaga aesthetic ko eh so I don’t stick to one. Minsan nga nagcocosplay pa ko sa class… so depende kung ano yung feel kong personality for the day ganun.”Similar to how a friend from the College of Home Economics studying clothing, she says that her program has influenced her fashion choices. Being surrounded by people who care about their outfits even if simply going to class has motivated her to explore what her style could be—even applying what she learned in class.In another college, such as College of Mass Communication, it’s observed that the more unconventional outfits some students will wear is very telling of the confidence they want to exude and the personality they have.

On personal considerations…The buildings in the campus are far apart from each other so it’s no surprise that students prioritize comfort. However, while doing so, they never fail to maintain their personal fashion sense.“In UP, super babad ka sa araw. So for me, gusto ko yung presko palagi, yung nahahanginan ako ganun. Presko but something I still feel pretty and confident in. Presko and giving!” said Yana, a Communication Research student from the College of Mass Communication.And while UP has such a beautiful campus, it’s hot out here! The sun is beaming most of the time, hence, wearing something breathable is probably more ideal.Meanwhile, Cam also from Maskom, even says (which surprised me) that the material of his clothing matters!“For me personally, number one: comfort. This is through fabrics. As much as possible, I try to go for more natural fibers because it’s more breathable and also with environmental considerations.”

“I’m someone who finds her confidence in the outfits I wear everyday so if my outfit looks good, I look good—so I am able to spread that vibe everywhere,” said Mads.Comfortable or fashionable, what’s most important is an outfit that brings out the confidence to get them through the day.

Seeing people who are similar to me but dress more heteronormative makes me wonder if I should be like that too.But if there’s one thing I’ve realized in college, it is how UP continues to provide an avenue for self-expression, free of judgement, because it can be done through many forms such as writing, art, music, dance, photography–with fashion being no stranger to that.College is one of those major periods in our life wherein we’re surrounded by many people, with varying personalities, who show off their niches in unique ways. Subtle or bold, how one presents themselves is only one of many defining characteristics which paint a picture of who they are.You come across this in the many shared spaces of UP that one may become curious whether fashion in our community is more than just a personal choice.

Even if you haven’t found your style, don’t push yourself to feel the need to have one just because others in the community already do. Our model from CAL, Ford, beautifully puts it as:“...your clothing is like your skin. It takes time to look kung ano yung best for you. Have fun with exploring whatever fashion taste or clothing style yung bet mo!”Gets na gets.

Special thanks to Benford Cabasan, Carlo Mendoza, Chevy Dela Cruz, Eliana Cabueños, and Maiddyleen Gopez for taking part as models in this article’s shoot!Special thanks to Mika Abada, Juiceletter 19.1 CRT intern, for helping us out in the execution!

The trees are as green as ever at the Acad Oval. From a distance, jeepneys pass along Magsaysay Avenue. Students excitedly talk to each other as they walk, maybe on the way to their classes, or on the way home. Nothing out of the ordinary because nothing has changed, but maybe I did.This semester can mean differently depending on the student. For some, it’s the start of their life as UP students, excited to explore where their college life will take them. For others, it’s a continuation of their journey, maybe reaching a midpoint of their undergraduate degree.However, for graduating students like me, it’s the start of the end. The clock is slowly ticking as our stay in the university lessens with one or two semesters left.

As the semester goes on and we’ve reached this halfway point, some emotions can also arise. Relief because the semester is about to end in a month. Restlessness because there’s still a month left. Tired due to the continuous hustle because it’s that point of the semester where academic works are piling up. We’ve submitted so many outputs, and they are not running out, the to-do list seems to never end.In true procrastinator fashion, I’ve chosen to focus on other things in the meantime instead of getting back to my acads. Truth be told, I’m still doing some work, but I want to take this opportunity to reflect on what this semester truly means to me. I’ve been running for so long now, and I want to pause and look back on how far I’ve come.

The stakes got higher when my graduating semester began. I have to ensure that my thesis draft is finished, my other requirements are fulfilled, my subjects are passed, and my units are credited, until there’s no room for slip-ups that could hold me back. At all costs, I have to avoid mistakes because the consequences can lead to problems that might hinder me from graduating next semester.

Looking back, what used to be the far distance between me and that sablay terrified me. That fear didn’t disappear like the distance slowly did, only making me anxious with every step, hoping it will continuously take me to the right direction.Coexisting with this fear is an impatience and other conflicting emotions. Time is flying fast, but there’s still so much time left still. I want to fast-forward to the time when I successfully complete my thesis draft, but that will also mean I’m almost at the end. I want time to continue passing until all my academic work is complete, but I also want to freeze it so I can stay.

For now, I can only keep going. One step after another in this metaphorical tightrope, no matter how terrifying, until I reach the end. Resume my thesis lock-in until the individual chapters turn into a whole manuscript. Return to the requirements I’ve set aside until they slowly dwindle and I finally can get some rest that lasts more than 24 hours.Most of all, I can look around. Remembering how far I’ve come. Recognizing the ones walking with me on this journey. Relishing in the memories I’ve made and will make. Romanticizing my walks in the Acad Oval because I’m living out my main-character-in-a-college-kdrama dream in my own way. Coming home to my college organization and catching up with what happened while I was gone.I can look around because I’ve never been alone in the first place. I have my friends who are always willing to give a hug, a laugh when everything feels overwhelming, and a comforting solace with their company. The tightrope remains, but I have people who wouldn’t let me fall, and help me reach the finish line, until the distance between me and that sablay falls disappears completely.

Photo credits: Stephen Busico (Shammy Takes on FB; @shammy_takes on IG)